What A New Puppy Is Revealing About My Relationship
On healthy conflict, unconditional love & preparing for a baby
Hi friends & happy Thursday!
We are (finally) starting to get into a rhythm with our new pup — our little guy is almost 16 weeks! And while he is delicious and adorable and has already added so much to our lives (I did not know I had the capacity to love a little creature in this way), I would be lying if I said there haven’t been many challenges that have come along with raising a pup. On the flip side of that, though, it’s also been a great opportunity to bring things to the surface and work through them as a family unit.
This is always a space for honesty, and despite being pregnant, I’ve worried about whether I will be maternal enough when the time comes. I’m not one of those girls that felt ‘born to be a mom’ her entire life… and I felt ashamed of that. But I can now say all of those concerns have gone out the window. The way I unconditionally love this tiny animal is biological. I feel a different level of purpose when I wake up in the morning, I cannot wait grab him from his crate, and I’m singing and dancing for him on autopilot. And yes, I understand a puppy is very different than a newborn child. I also understand that a lot of people thought we were crazy for getting a puppy with a baby on the way. And rightfully so — it hasn’t been easy. But despite the ups and downs, it’s been one of our most connected seasons because it’s required us to become a true team and care for something other than ourselves.
On Saturday night in Amagansett, Clayton and I both passed out together on the couch next to the fire watching The Pitt (incredible show, btw) with Targa cuddled up between us. We woke up an hour later from our slumber and he had not only left the couch, but had chewed up our vintage rug in another room and peed on it. NEVER A DULL MOMENT. And with how particular we are about tidiness and the way we keep our home, repeat incidents like this, though to very much be expected, have brought up a lot around releasing control. Because no matter how many systems we put in place, the wheels are inevitably going to come off sometimes, and honestly that’s been hard.
Whether you have a dog or not, I think this read truly applies to anyone — because the lessons here have really been about resolving conflict as partners more than anything. Particularly given that we are not only raising a dog, but in ~5 months there will be a tiny human joining us as well, I think it’s given us a major opportunity to strengthen our problem-solving, and ultimately our partnership, through this (admittedly sometimes quite trying) process.
