We've Unknowingly Become Anti-Joy
The hidden cost of comparison, compulsive productivity, gossip & self-optimization
Buongiorno from Ischia!
I have officially reached the stage of pregnancy where I am ~moody~ ... I don’t know if this is a thing? But I’m making it one. In my second trimester, I have been abnormally un-anxious — which I’m guessing is due to heightened progesterone and the lack of a luteal phase. It’s actually been a wild experience to have no week-long low each month — and my husband happily noticed this difference :D ... but as I’m now just shy of 6 months preg, I’m noticing a different pattern, which is randomly getting hit with bad moods.
The app I use to track this is called Stardust — love that it gives me an idea of where I’m at hormonally (it’s great for non-pregnancy too) + a sprinkle of spirituality
They’re generally short-lived, but I had one the other morning while we were here (you’d think it would be impossible in paradise, and to be clear, I am by no means complaining) where I felt that luteal-phase level of darkness (seeing the world in black-and-white vibes) for a morning. I’m not going to lie, I’ve been riding so high that it spooked me a little. It’s really hard when you’re in the “darkness” not to feel a false sense of permanence.
So, freshly out of a hormonally induced anti-joy mood (which, obviously, can be caused by anything), I feel deeply reminded of what it means to really feel good and the polarity that inevitably exists. But today’s post is really a reminder of the self-induced versions, the less obvious ones that we partake in day to day on autopilot, often without even realizing it. This isn’t so much a guide as it is a brain dump... one that I think a lot of us (myself included) may need to hear. I feel strongly that so many of our subconscious behaviors are shaping our reality. And the ones we need to be particularly aware of are the sneakily negative ones that are quietly impacting us.
The internet can be such a beautiful place of creation, sharing, connection, and opportunity. And my experience of social media over the years has predominantly been that. But it can also be an ugly place — and I’m not going to lie, especially as a sensitive person, my negativity bias occasionally has me seeing only that small fraction of energy leeches.
I’ve been creating content on Instagram for over 10 years now, and one of the themes I see over and over again is other people’s joy becoming a trigger point — and unknowingly placing us into our own anti-joy energy. Which is so unnatural because human beings were literally put on this earth to experience joy. But this is also a very natural consequence of being able to see inside the lives (and highlight reels) of literally anyone. There was actually a point in time when I had to mute a handful of accounts that I found super expansive because I was so pained by not being where they were in life or having what they had. Instead of viewing it as something that was possible for me too (which it was, and is), I let my lack win.
