JournalSpeak 101

The practice that took me from chronic pain to my most vibrant self — and how to start NOW

Hi friends! I hope everyone is enjoying some version of Spring wherever you all are :) Sunshine and warm temps (did we go straight to summer?) in NYC are giving me so much life.

By the way, a little (gigantic) life update for you guys… say hello to TARGA!!!! This little bundle of joy is joining our family in a couple of weeks and I am so beyond excited I could cry. Where are my Cav mamas?? (more updates to come but I had to show you all).

Can you even with these pics????

First things first, I’m excited to share our giveaway winner from last week: ANNA G. !!!! Here’s the box of delicious goodies that I am shipping out to her today:

Sooo many of my favorite things: 12 matcha, Masa chips, face masks & under eye patches, non-toxic candles, Rest + Digest tea, Ella’s Flats, Behave gummies & more.

**stay with me til the end of this post as I’m doing another giveaway!!!!

On a more serious note, today’s post is a super important one. I also made it free for anyone to access because I don’t want to gate-keep something that has the power, if you commit to it, to change your life this IMMENSELY. Picking up Nicole Sachs’ book for the first time in December of 2023 was one of the most life-altering decisions I’ve ever made. And I also just want to say, in general, I’m not a self-help book person. There are a lot of great self-help reads, but when you’re dysregulated (and struggling to relax), self-help stuff can feel overwhelming and like it just adds to what you should be doing but aren’t — and are then in turn beating yourself up over. We don’t need any more beating ourselves up. But this work is different. As someone who has been THROUGH it, I promise you this.

I noticed a big theme in the questions you all submitted that I wanted to touch on before getting into them. So many questions were fear-based and rooted in resistance and perfectionism, and I completely understand ALL of that. I say this all with the most empathy and love because I have been buried so deeply in resistance at points that I didn’t ever think I’d make it out. But we as humans are FULL of excuses. Because what if we’re not doing it right? Or what if doing this practice actually manifests more negativity? Or what if I don’t have anything else to write about? (that is literally impossible). So I just want anyone that’s having these thoughts to recognize that resistance is also a symptom of TMS (the condition that creates chronic pain and conditions in your body, because the body would rather feel physical pain than emotional). Resistance is also what’s keeping you from getting better. It’s keeping you, as Nicole Sachs always says, “safe in the unsafest way.” So I’m going to do my best here to fight against what I know in so many of you is a ton of resistance. Know that you DO in fact have the strength to commit to this practice daily, and that your specific set of symptoms is 100% not special or unique — this work can work for you, too.

To paint a brief picture of who I was before JS, I had everything ranging from gut issues to skin issues to body image issues & chronic pelvic pain. I also had Lyme disease and mold toxicity. It felt like I had a UTI for 5 years straight (with no UTI). I was anxious, depressed, super inflamed (and gaining weight despite not eating more), and just generally not excited to be living my life. I was a complete shell of myself. I spent the majority of most days obsessing over solving my conditions and pain, trying different supplements, diets, and protocols. I flew to different states to see specialists. I did months of antibiotics. I would have done quite literally ANYTHING to get better. And I also never in a million years would have guessed that my very own NERVOUS SYSTEM could be causing quite literally all of the chaos.

And this is me after — absolutely zero chronic pain, feeling so vibrant and like my best version mentally in 33 years. I’m not being dramatic in the slightest when I say that regulating your nervous system can change how you physically look as well as feel. You truly glow from the inside out.

So in order to give you all the most comprehensive, yet digestible version of Journal Speak 101, I took your hundreds of IG question submissions (thank you to everyone who wrote me) and condensed them into 20 questions that I’m answering below. I hope — whether this is your first introduction to JS or the push to continue that you needed — that you feel hopeful after reading this post. As always, I am here in the comments, DMs, etc!

What is JournalSpeak, really — and how is it different from regular journaling?

JS is a method of journaling developed by BreakAwake with Nicole Sachs where you write for 20 minutes straight daily. It is very different from regular journaling in that you are UNLEASHING during these sessions. For me, there is nothing structured about it. It’s a stream of consciousness where I’m letting out emotions and things that I kept inside me all day. Nicole often describes it as letting the steam out of a valve, and I like to picture that while I’m doing it. I always call it “an aggressive daily journal dump” because what you really want (and not every day is perfectly executed this way for me) is to let out the stuff that you feel ashamed for feeling. The stuff on your paper should be the things you’d never want anyone to see or hear. And the idea is that when we put pen to paper (or type) these things out, you are freeing them from your system, rather than keeping them inside (which we know, scientifically, can cause chronic pain and conditions).

How do you actually start — like step by step?

I completely understand the urge to want to do this “right,” and I held onto fear for a long time that I wasn’t doing it well enough (type A, perfectionist overachiever here). The best way to start is literally to grab pen and paper, set a timer, and let whatever comes up come up. I know this sounds annoyingly simple, but do not let perfectionism get in the way of starting this life-changing habit. Everyone reading this is 100% capable of 20 minutes of journaling!

Do you need to read the book first or can you just begin?

I personally did start by reading Nicole’s book. Mind Your Body will give you an AMAZING breakdown of TMS, JS, and so much brain science as to why and how it works. BELIEF IS SO IMPORTANT. It sounds silly and woo-woo, but if you don’t believe this work can work (and trust me, it took me time to get there), it can be a bit of an uphill journey. My advice would be to start with the book — especially if you want guidance and structure and understanding. But you can also 100% start without. Again, this does not need to be executed perfectly, and the best step you can take is deciding that you’re going to give this a try, in whichever form that is for you!

Do you follow a structure (past/present/personality lists) or just write what comes up?

I don’t. But in the beginning, I did Nicole’s course, and that helped me create a list of memories and emotions that were really pertinent for me. This doesn’t have to be done, but I do think it helped me get a better understanding of where some of my pain points and wounding were. But on a daily basis, I don’t follow any specific structure. In fact, my words are literally all over the place, and I think this non-structured way of doing something has actually been quite healing for me (as someone that LOVES order and to do things “right”).

How do you decide what to write about — current stressors vs. going back to childhood?

I think the biggest piece of advice I can give here is to trust that the right things WILL come up (with time). There is no formal decision before I start writing each day of what I’m going to write about. Allow it to flow. And it’ll feel very clunky at times. That’s normal. Sometimes I write, “I really don’t f*cking want to be doing this right now.”

What prompts should you start with?

Sometimes I’ll ask myself, “how does it feel to be me today?” to get the juices flowing. Sometimes I start by just chronicling my day, and that allows me to feel the different emotions that came up as things happened. Sometimes I’ll end up on an entirely different subject or a random childhood memory. There is literally no wrong way to do this.

What if you feel like you have nothing to write about?

There is, quite literally, ALWAYS content to write about. If your brain is trying to convince you otherwise, we know this is just resistance, and you are stronger than letting resistance — and ultimately yourself — get in your own way. You have decades of feelings, life experiences, and emotions, and I’m not buying that there’s nothing there, or you wouldn’t be here! (I have to give tough love on this one).

What if it feels like you’re forcing it or making things up just to have something to say?

Then let that be the case. Some days I finish my JS and feel that it was highly productive — I feel that release that we all want. Other days, I’m annoyed that I feel like all I do is write about the same topic over and over. Letting yourself be okay with whatever result is part of the work. Again, you cannot do this wrong! The key is consistency and doing it daily, not doing it perfectly.

Does it have to be 20 minutes? What if you run out of things to say early?

Yes. Don’t short-change yourself. There is always an opportunity for more material. Even if it’s rage about having to JournalSpeak!

Do you still do it every day, even when you’re feeling okay?

Yes. I only started to see real, sustainable periods of being pain-free when I was completely consistent. Sometimes, on great days, I’ll journal about positive things. It’s okay to mix it up and go with where you are! The important thing is that you’re not being avoidant — where you’re like, I’d rather just journal about light stuff today because I don’t want to “feel” the ugly stuff. That’s not good for you long term!

When is the best time to do it — morning, night, both?

Whenever you can fit it in. I personally do it in the evening, right before bed. I find that I’ve collected more material throughout the day to write about, and I view it as a perfect release before I sleep. And I have to say, I sleep very well because of it.

Does it have to be handwritten, or can you type / use your phone?

I personally handwrite 99% of the time, but you can absolutely type! Whatever will allow you to get it done. I linked to my favorite journals below, and I particularly like them because of the rings (so it lays nicely) and because for me, 3 full pages = almost exactly 20 minutes every time, so I don’t have to set a timer. When I’m typing on my laptop, I can’t help but look at the timer the entire time (it shows up at the top), and I find it a bit distracting / doesn’t allow me to go as deep.

How do you know if you’re doing it “right”?

There is no right or perfect way, but some signs that I was moving in the right direction, especially in the beginning, were crying during JS (such a good release) or feeling small periods of reprieve from some of my symptoms. Try your best not to “monitor” for signs that you’re doing it right, though, because attachment to an outcome will keep you stuck. Monitoring my symptoms (I used to have a literal color-coded spreadsheet) was one of the worst things I used to do.

How raw do you actually need to be — and how do you get yourself to go there?

As raw as you possibly can. And you’ll get better at that with time — unfortunately there isn’t really a method for me to share here other than repeating this practice every darn day. Even though you have absolutely no audience for this (and should be ripping the pages up after), sometimes there’s a period of stage fright in the beginning. It requires getting comfortable with your ugliest self, and that is not something many of us want to actively opt into.

Is JournalSpeak just venting / complaining, or is there a difference?

It’s all kind of the same to me. I think venting/complaining has a negative connotation, and a lot of people get stuck in the idea that writing down negative things will bring more negativity to them. The truth is, these complaints are much better off out of your system and on paper than they are compartmentalized in your body. Especially if they have literally been making you sick. So I would steer away from labeling JS as anything negative or positive, and more just view it as your daily RELEASE. I truly view it as medicinal at this point.

Is it only about anger, or can it be sadness, fear, or even positive emotions?

It can really be anything! Sadness, resentment, and shame are emotions that come up for me a lot during JS. But I definitely have days where I’m writing positive things, too. I think the trick is to let whatever organically comes up be — and to not judge yourself for it (this is easier said than done). But if you’ve landed here, you’re likely self-critical, and your body feels ALL of the criticism as if it were a physical assault, so keep that in mind during this process.

How do you balance getting everything out without getting stuck in it or ruminating?

It’s okay to have repeat offenders during JS. I have them for sure. I think when I start to feel like I’m getting into the rumination zone (and it becomes less helpful to keep writing about it), I’ll switch to something entirely different to make sure I’m not beating a dead horse. Also, I find writing out physical questions as you write, like “why did that make me upset?” or “what’s really underneath that?” is super helpful. Writing the actual question (all in your stream of text) gives your brain time to let an answer out in a really organic way.

Can you do JournalSpeak while on SSRIs or other medication — and how do you think about the relationship between this work and medication?

Yes, absolutely. I take 5 mg of Lexapro and the combo of JS + an SSRI has been life-changing. To be clear, Lexapro alone (I took it for about 1.5 years prior to starting JS) did not cure my chronic pain and conditions. It certainly helped, though! I am a big believer in doing whatever helps you get your best result. That said, I stopped taking things like long-term antibiotics and vaginal probiotics (for the “embedded” chronic bladder infections I was convinced I had) — as they were not needed (I didn’t have a physical problem) and reinforced the idea that my pain was physical.

Is it normal to feel worse at first (emotionally or physically)?

It’s normal to have a whole rollercoaster of emotions. I had a LOT of ups and downs — especially in the beginning. Know that you are uprooting a lot of sh*t and give yourself grace. This is part of the process. And like I said before, better to be uprooting it than letting it keep you stuck and sick! The alternative is not better!

How long does it take to see results — and what should you look for?

I sometimes avoid answering this question because I think it keeps us stuck on the idea of expecting a specific outcome. And the truth is everyone is very different. But I know you all are curious, and I was too as I was getting started, so I’ll share my honest experience. But please know that it will happen in the correct timing for you individually! When I first picked up Nicole’s book in 2023 and blew through half of it in one sitting (I was hooked), I had a short period of my symptoms getting better that very day. Please don’t marry yourself to these results, though, because I don’t think that’s necessarily “the norm” and it didn’t last. But it did show me that wow, I can and will stop these symptoms in their tracks eventually. From there, I started Nicole’s course and doing JS. It wasn’t until about a year later that I decided enough was enough (I was only doing it a few times a week) and I had to be fully consistent in order to see results. About 3 months into that, I started having weeks without any symptoms. The duration and intensity of my symptom flares decreased from there. I also loved listening to Nicole’s podcast when I was in a flare to reinforce my belief in the work. I’d pick an episode with my specific symptoms to really seal the deal. This would sometimes take away my symptoms in a day. Momentum creates momentum, but it requires this to be a daily practice. Nicole always says, “life is often a choice between what hurts and what hurts worse,” and I love this reminder because real pain is having your bladder feel like it’s on fire for 5 years — not 20 measly minutes of my day spent journaling!!

And lastly, because I loved putting together a box of goodies for one of my lovely subscribers so much, I WANT TO DO IT AGAIN THIS WEEK. To enter for a box of delicious goodies, all you have to do is leave a comment on this post. I’ll be DMing the winner next Thursday and shipping out that day! This is bringing me so much joy and I’m so grateful to every one of you for being here.

I lied — lastly, lastly: here are this week’s picks!

1. Thelatest Dalida Drawstring Sheer Shirt — Just bought for a big upcoming interview and I’m obsessed. Snagged the matching pants too because you all know I can’t resist a set.

2. The Taffeta Drawstring Cargo Pant — Love love these. My friend was wearing them all last summer and I was so jealous. Just bought.

3. Ballerina Farm Protein Powder — Okay new discovery that I am OBSESSED with. It’s pricey, but my goodness is it worth it. Made the creamiest kefir + peach smoothie the other day… with 24G of protein in 1 scoop?! Truly wow.

4. By Malene Birger Eri Lace-Trimmed Shorts — I’ve been EYEING these. I think they are so divine.

5. Goop Beauty Dry Brush — Dry brush that I use religiously. Helps with skin smoothness & cellulite!

6. Crepe Scrunchies — Always get asked about my scrunchies. Love this brand.

7. Same Swim Fringe Sarong — Saw this just came back in stock and cannot wait to wear her this summer.

8. Donni Silk Stripe Pants — Think these are so chic! I’m all about a glorified pajama that you look put together in.

9. Chanel Interlocking CC Logo Slingback — Have been also eyeing these! I found a pair in my size on TRR and may have to pull the trigger.

10. Spiral Notebook — This is the perfect (and most inexpensive) journal for JS. Just trust.

Love you guys so!

xx E